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CheRRyDj13
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Name: Bonita
Metro:
Birthday: 11/30/1991
Gender: Female
Interests: ...i like green mint chocolate ice cream..rice...some dude..erm...music..sax..piano..
Expertise: Piano-Computers:That range
Occupation: Student
Industry: Computers (Internet)
Message: message meEmail: email me
Member Since:
11/29/2003
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| So I thought it would be extremely funny if Victor became my mentor for the Kapatiran mentorship program. The funny part was he actually did become my mentor...though he is so mean to me that..in public its just even more mean..and probably in private the friendship builds..
..For Education, Emotional, and Physical..
..now im thinking...what else is there to come..knew him since i was a kid..
..share feelings and thoughts..and get closer? though i myself am afraid we wont
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| In the end, I lost what I thought I could keep. But that is okay I still am satisfied with everything else. My communication skills are getting better of course. It may not seem like it is with my head wandering off most of the time but it is only when I feel like being seriously I can get one and one with you. Nowadays, it's just messing with some keys and beats and some movements from the mirror in front of me. Occasionally going out every week or two with my girls to get some kick out of life. We probably have to get some get together with everyone again, and probably use that as an excuse to sleep off the rest of the day after the day before.
I need a beat before I can get going sometimes. You know typing endlessly is less fun then usual. Hey I am pretty sure I wrote a personal journal entry on my computer which I can not seem to find. I know I have it because I was ranting for about a couple days on it about my friends and the people who I interact with every day. Also maybe a known cause they seem to exist. No matter how much I ignore people they seem to come to me, maybe its cause I dont want them to exist ever in my head but as usual they forced themselves on me. As so, I made my facebook private where you can find me but necessarily add me. I hate the stupid random people adding me. ESPECIALLY the ones I know I will NEVER talk to. I just deleted them. I know you are in my class, grieve with me please. But why add me? Is it so you can peek at me and laugh what I do? Come on now, its the internet. Get a grip and leavethe me hell alone alright?
The fan in my room seems to be running. it is sunny out and that is actually rare for a day in san, or south san francisco. If its hot here that means its hot even more in San jose or sunnyvale or fremont or something aroudn tha tedge. It would be lovely to go swimmin right aobut now buti have no engagement to go driving ot anywehre without out a car. Some other things that bother me along the way is that i believ emy friend JT likes me. My friend dan said he did and it is kind of obvious with the inviting and the way he talks weird and stuff and wont leave me alone. He probably knows I dont like him at all. THe entire time i was hanging outwith him i was halfway texting or something cause i was bored out of my mind. I felt liek JT was decieving me of Will but I guess it is jsut me again thinking about stupid nonsense stuffa bout thinkgs that could have happen but will not happen cause the other person is not willing to help and commit to it. But that is alright cause I have my friends to love with me.
The oreo cookies I had been eating dont' taste as good as usual along with the chips ahoy cookies i usually eat too. The othe rday i was eating rice with some mini smoked sasauges and I was jumping off the walls cause of the flavor of the rice? Sometimes I think about the people who i influenced or if i ever did. Did tehy wonder to stop and think about who kind of made them there today? I mean I wasnt there to really push them they just engaged in my life and I let them in.
For instance, my friend Gabriel Medina. He was my best friendin 8th grade and we did everything together and walked after school together. I remember he waited for me when I had to take this test with my 8th grade history teacher. He waited for me outside and I asked him too cause I was scared of my teacher. I BS that tested and ran out and Gabe was waiting for me outside, happily with no questions. We walked home together in silence for a bit. This was the usual, I would walk him home all the time then I would walk myself. Sometimes Gabe would walk me home all the way down that hill, I told him not to cause I felt like I wasted his time. He said nah, its alright and walked me all the way to the sidedoor of my house. I remember inviting him in, but I think he was afraid or something and left as I watched him run up the hill to home.
.....So I guess there are other things I wish to say sorry for my dear friend Gabe. It was my fault back then for hurting him and making him cry. He was tearing for about months because of me. I didn't feel bad. I dont know what was wrong with me. Maybe cause I was afraid? Unfortunately my immature and rude actions led us this far.
I remember when I was at colleens house when he called me on the phone. He was talking to me while Colleen was on the computer and i was laying on her bed. Gabriel said he never lied. I always took every word he said to me all the time and I always asked Gabe who he liked. He said only 1 girl. Nenette Serano. I said okay. I believed in him so much. I guess you can say I felt betrayed when he finally told me the truth. It was friday. And I was looking outside the window. Then Gabe called me and said..
Gabe: "Hey Christine, do you remember when I told you I liked only one person and no one else?"
Me: " Yeah you wouldn't tell me, and I kept guessing and I said Nenette."
Gabe: " Yeah, it is just one thing I lied. I used Nenette as a cover up, there is one other person..."
Me: "Who is it?...Colleen..Gerlene...Michelle..?" ( i started to list alot of girls from our grade...)
Gabe: " No, truth is I like you."
As for myself, I kind of felt relieved Gabe said he liked me too. I smiled and I thought, I dont want to ruin our friendship.
Me:"That's great gabe..Dont worry i wont tell anyone."(which is funny cause I guess you can kind of say I said this outloud but Iono , prob people who subscribe to me can see this, if so I suggest not going to Gabe about this unless I comfirm what you gona say to him.)
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I guess you can say I was being stupid and I was being immature. He gave me the weekend. And I totally..freaked out. I got crazy I got insane. I didnt know what to do..
The next couple Days I ignored gabriel..I cant believe it I totally crushed his heart and left it alone in the cold. I remember him texting me constantly sorry and what did i do. I wrongly texted him back saying I hate you, how could you do this to me i dont want to talk to you ever again. I would never like a person like you. Why.
On monday of school Gabe didnt talk. Gabe didnt eat. Everyone asked what was wrong with him. I just said, oh its cause I did that to him..As the stupid immature me I didnt even feel as bad. Ever. Fuck whats wrong with me back than. Now that I think of it how could I do that to someoen so precious to me and throw him away like old news? I thought I was his best friend forever. It was all my fault. I had most of my classes with him and every day I couldnt bare to talk to him. I guess you can say I was so angry at him lying to me that I took it to the next level and crushed his heart, literally. No joke. Literally. He never recovered.
It was until graduation day....of our 8th grade year we kind of made up. New beginning you see. Gabe's brother Ian was best friends with my sister Jessica. (they still friends till today. now its just that ian of course is still an asshole to gabe and gabe hates his brother etc. the usual...and ian is into himself too much so not much off the scene of friends my sister has dont talk to him as much) My sister saw Ian at our graduation. So she said Hi and told me to take a picture with his brother Gabriel. Who was my ex-best friend. So i did. The moment we took those pictures as my sister shoved us together, I told gabe: " Hey, I guess we graduating huh? I'll see you in south city." Of course, I felt awkard because what i did to him. Gabe gladly took the picture and I was pretty sure he felt the same as i did.
Our freshman year in band. I noticed Gabe went to marching band practice at night and then finally later on at night when I caught him alone...I remember going up to him. And I told gabe I was sorry for what I did that last year. I told him I didnt want to pretend I didnt do it. Yes I did do it. He cried in my arms for about 5 minutes, then I tried to let go of the hug cause people were coming, but yeah he finished and we let go our ways from there. With me saying, : " I am so sorry for all the shit I put you through." Even from today I am haha. Shit.
Besides that. I honestly Don't feel like I deserve Gabe as a girlfriend at all. Haha. I guess it's true I started to like him later on. Which is ironic cause he liked me back then and now I like him. Time can twist us can it? Some people say, hey you never know. But i know him well enough to know, that boy could hold a grudge. But I dont think he would hold one against me. Not ever. I just know. Cause I did nothing to annoy him afterwards..but We will see. Maybe one day I'll have that talk with him..that day back in 8th grade. Oh well.
Even though Everything was Juvenile. Grade School. and high school. Still. I know how he rolls
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| LOL you know i noticed one thing. Eric Lau is a jerk. this is him.
You know. he is really shallow and yet i realized i really wana get with this guy even though he's an ass. But i restrained. LOL
So say hi to Eric Lai.
hi eric!
Hi eric :] ♥ so i choose to have this one for me
cause...
eric lau can be sweet and funny and flirtateous..but...
I don't want a guy who is a white washed rich freak jerk
Eric Lai has the story of a baby
he had the life of a book
had a first love in middle school etc
in high school his momma was diaognosed with cancer and died
and when that happen he was emo etc
he dumped his girlfriend when junior year started, his 2nd girl ..cause she was annoyin and whiny etc
and got into fashion alot LOL. but ya even if he spends money on expensive clothes its cause he caught this from his mother
so i really like Eric Lai cause i know he'll treat me right, he's so nice and he's so sweet and innocent
:)
but ya. i'll see what will happen later on with him and me even though he is going to River side all the way in South Cali. I'm going to spend the entire summer with him..
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| So I thought about this. Every moment I'm with him it is like magic. It is so perfect it felt like it was ment to be and nothing else. All those lovely moments together and small flirting...and big flirting..and...i just wanted it to last..i wanted to hold his hand when he and i were sitting next to each other shoving each other off the stoool ...
..gah ..the blushing..haha.. =)
..But..ya..He never had a girlfriend before? He turned 18 in jan long time ago haha..and he's so dorky its adorable..speaks cant./mandarin and..tall haha..picks onme all th etime..
...what can i do? itts pure innocent love. how do i deal with this..
i guss we have to work it out together..slowly..we'll make it.
..I really want things to work out with Clinton and the internet does not workk at all. To help me.? No. The only way I can build this is through meeting him. This friday, then mon, tues, pal. fri after. and I'm hoping the summer he'll go to bbc too..and ill talk to him about it... i really will..i promise this time..
cause he's all I got that keeps me sane and loves me.
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